There is no research behind this blog post. What you are about to read are just simply thoughts from a mom.
I haven’t blogged as frequently as I would like to because we have been tending to the home-front. We are experiencing turbulence with our loved one, and that has naturally affected my desire to write. My hope for the blog is that it is a resourceful, pleasant and inspirational place to visit so I refrain from writing when things get rocky. Not today…I want to be honest and maybe a little inspiration and hope will manage to shine through.
I…Stacy…wife…mother…daughter…sister…friend…writer…am the embedded reporter of course. I am revealing today, from the battlefield that we know at our home as mental illness, the truth.
It appears that I hide behind a mask to avoid coping with the bipolar disorder of our loved one. I seem pain free and unaffected. However, I simply write about what inspires me, and I have become more creative and active than ever before regarding the world of mental illness. I’m not hiding behind a mask. It is with great purpose that I choose to cast a positive light on one of the most challenging times in my life. I’ll attempt to explain.
Yes…
I am in deep and immense pain. My family is in pain. It is palpable. It is heartbreaking and devastating. We have lost our loved one for awhile to the grips of bipolar disorder. Our family unit is like a walking wound. We have been wounded by watching our loved one veer off the track of mental wellness…only to be derailed..we fight to locate her…we know she is here…we don’t relent…we fight…the years pass…we weaken by the throws of the emotional roller coaster. But pure love picks us up.
Bipolar disorder, as if it were super human, pushes us…pulls us…attempts to discard us…
And yet here we are…scarred…eyes blurry from weeping…hearts heavy and aching…we see her! We wipe the tears away. We stand up. We shake off the grit from the battle…
Mania…back off! Alcoholism…back off! Depression…back off! Suicidal ideation…back off!
She is ours! That beautiful girl…worn from lack of sleep, worn from torturous thoughts, worn from the bipolar pendulum…is ours!
We fight back with love. Creativity in turn is sparked by the depths of our despair. We turn a negative into a positive! Who’s winning now bipolar disorder?
Mom…embedded reporter…casting a positive light with great purpose…