An Open Letter to My Adult Child, Now a Mother Herself, Who Still Lives at Home


To My Beautiful Daughter,

I’m writing this letter to you to let you know that your dream of becoming independent hasn’t gone unnoticed and to let you know that you’ll get there. It must have been tough to have watched your siblings, who you grew up with, complete college, land steady careers and move out of our house and into their own homes. It appeared to be easier for you to see your brother move on with his life since he is the oldest. However, I’ll never forget the yearning for independence that I noticed in your blue eyes when your younger sister moved out of the house for the first time. That was about six years ago. Today, you still live at home with Dad and I, and now you have your very own little one to care for. It was, and still is, painful for me to see you long for a life of your own. To help you on your way, I have a few questions for you.

Have I told you lately that I love you?

I love you. In fact, I can’t even begin to express how much I love you. I have loved you since before the day you were born. I love you beyond measure. I know you’ve heard me say the famous Toy Story quote; I love you “to infinity and beyond!” I really do. Don’t ever forget that. When times get tough, and you wonder if you’ll ever gain that independence that you hunger for, and deserve, know that no matter what, you are loved.

Have I told you lately that you matter?

You matter. Yes, your brother and sister have moved on with their lives. However, in time, you will too. Regardless, you matter. You are an integral part of this family. You are part of what makes “us” work. It doesn’t matter that you are still living at home. That just happens to be a part of your story, and it’s okay. Every person on this Earth approaches life differently, and life unfolds differently for each person as well. That’s what’s beautiful. You are beautifully unique just like the next person. Never forget that you matter.

Have I told you lately that you are smart?

You are smart. There are many indicators that express just how intelligent you are. For example, you successfully completed grade school, middle school and high school. You successfully completed CNA training in college and worked in the field. You have successfully been a member of the work force in various positions. This alone shows flexibility as well as smarts. You are musically intelligent. As a singer, songwriter and performer you exude brilliance. And you have emotional intelligence that is rare. You are able to connect with people, no matter who they are, and reignite their passions just like you did for your friend who is a pianist. You’ve never met him in person yet the connection you made with him online, including the support you provided him, will have an ever-lasting, positive effect on him. You helped him learn that he matters too. That’s emotional brilliance that many desire. And I’ve only just begun. You are intelligent in so many other ways as well. Never forget that you are just as smart as anyone else.

Have I told you lately that you are strong?

You are strong. You are a survivor. You’ve endured and survived, to name a few: bullying, mental illness, unhealthy relationships, suicide attempts and stigma. And as a new mommy, you’ve survived a difficult pregnancy, a C-section and the absence of the father. It takes a strong woman to survive what you’ve survived. You’ve managed to climb the walls of what seem to be insurmountable life obstacles, and though scarred, you’ve safely landed on the other side. You’ve done it. And now, you live to care for your beautiful daughter as well as yourself. Never forget that you are strong. You are a warrior.

Have I told you lately that you have my support?

You have my support. I’ll be here for you as you take on more responsibility. I imagine that as you move forward with creating a life of your own that you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how well you can, and will, care for yourself and your daughter. And, if needed, we can discuss how best I can help. You know that I can’t always help monetarily, but there are other ways that I can help. You have my support.

Have I told you lately to not be afraid to take risks?

Don’t be afraid to take risks. It can be frightening to put ourselves on the front line of whatever it is our heart desires. You just need to trust yourself and know that you can do it. You know that you have a strong foundation from which to grow: you are loved, you matter, you are smart, you are strong and you have my support. Moving forward with whatever it is you desire is one of the first steps to success. And if you don’t get where you are going the first time, keep going. Don’t give up. As you move forward, and take risks, you just might land right where you want to be. Sometimes, as we chase our dreams, we realize that the end outcome looks a little different. And it’s okay. Don’t be afraid to take risks.

Have I told you lately that you make me proud?

You make me proud. In fact, I couldn’t be prouder because first and foremost I have the privilege of being your mom. I’m proud of the person you are. I’m proud of the mother you are. I’m proud of your achievements, and I’m proud of who you strive to be. You make me proud.

Have I told you lately that you will make it?

You will make it. It won’t be long, and you too, and your little one, will move out of the house and into your own home. You too will become independent just like your brother and sister. Never forget that you have the tools to do so. You will be successful. In fact, you already are. Stand tall, knowing that you have what you need to move forward, and create that beautiful life you’ve dreamed of for you and your beautiful little one. It’s waiting…

Love Always ~ to infinity and beyond!