Do you happen to have a special piece of jewelry that you adore so much that its become one of your treasures? I do. In fact, I have several pieces of jewelry that I treasure, but there is one piece in particular that is so valuable to me that it has become the logo for Stacy’s Flutterings blog. The heart logo, that you see on the blog, comes from a hemp necklace, a necklace that has become a symbol of hope and life.

The pendant that hangs from the necklace is a glass flower heart shaped pendant.

I received the necklace as a gift from my daughter Kim. She had made it for me after her last near fatal suicide attempt. In the days and months prior, and following her discharge from the hospital, she crocheted hemp bracelets and necklaces. It was evident that crocheting was therapeutic for her. My husband, my son, my youngest daughter and I were aware that as she created each beautiful, intricate piece she was coping and healing. Due to the tight tension she used, her fingers became raw and bled at times as she pulled the course hemp cord across her fingers as she created each delicate stitch. I remember her sitting in her room for hours working on each piece, especially during the night. As she finished each one, she gave it away as a gift. She even sold some of her work at a local store. I knew, as mom’s do, how much work she put into each piece, and my heart ached when I saw her give them away because I believed that the recipients wouldn’t understand the piece of love that they were being handed. And then I became one of those recipients.

To my surprise, Kim gave me a necklace.

This came months after her recovery from her attempt and at a time when I had become her caregiver in addition to being her mom. I remember crying when she gave it to me. I knew that it was her way of saying, “Thank you mom.” From that moment on, I wore the necklace daily. Soon after she gave it to me, I found myself in Ottawa, Kansas with Bill at the Extreme Makeover: Home Edition build, and I wore that necklace all seven days. I wore it proudly, and each time someone either gave me a compliment and/or asked me about it, I shared our story of how I almost lost my beautiful girl to suicide. It provided me, and still does, the opportunity to share vital suicide prevention resources I’ve learned about such as the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), the Crisis Text Line, and the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. The necklace had become a symbol of hope and life.

My failed attempt to change the logo on Stacy’s Flutterings

Would you believe me if I told you that I actually was going to change out the heart logo for another one? I did. I shared with Kim that I was going to update the logo on the website, and she asked, “So you’re ready to put the heart away and use something else?” As her words were uttered, I had a visceral reaction, and my immediate thought was, “No!” Instead of being honest with her, I just smiled and said, “Yeah, I think I’m ready to move on and try something new.” She smiled that big grin of hers and said, “Okay!” Even though it appeared that I was okay too, I wasn’t, but I moved forward with my intentions. I went so far as to try and change out my profile picture on Stacy’s Flutterings Facebook page. Well, it didn’t work. I tried several times, but regardless of my effort, I failed. Each time I tried to upload the image, I received a notification that the size of the image I was trying to load was either too big or too small. Even though I changed the new image several times to meet the requirements, it wouldn’t work. And in the end, I felt relief. I went back to the picture of my necklace and re-uploaded it. You know what? It loaded in an instant, and it looked as beautiful as the day Kim gave it to me. It was, and continues to be, a symbol of hope and life. I think the universe is telling me that’s how it’s supposed to be…

Growing stronger…